Armstrong Baby Blog

So I am completely immersed in three things these days:  my training with former K9 officer Mike Whitty, who is teaching my Tychi how to behave like a well-trained dog; my hypnosis birthing training, which is teaching me that is possible to relax exceedingly and still remain conscious; and figuring out how to get in the best shape of my life and joining a police department after giving birth.

I’m having a lot of frustration lately due to nerve pinching in my right hip – it is difficult to walk some days, and Sandy has to yell at me to rest, since this is supposedly the only cure.  It does feel better after I rest, but the boredom and general pissed-offedness of not being able to do things and having to ask for help ignites a rage in me.  Yesterday Sandy had to do Tychi’s training, which is my favorite part of the day, and Tychi was doing so well that my face was smiling and my heart was aching.  It’s like having someone else teach your child to ride a bike, while you can only watch.  I only hope my darling baby Stewie will decide that maybe he can move to better accommodate me!

This self-hypnosis is kind of amazing.  I can compare it to the high of being on Klonopin, with the half-life of Xanax.  I’m basically learning how to shut off the muscles in my body on command in order to make it easier for my pressure waves (contractions) to send the baby down in the most natural way possible.  Epidurals interfere with this, as do localized injections like Demerol.  Supposedly a lot of pain from labor comes from women tensing up and preventing the uterus from doing what it needs to do to get the baby out, and relaxing into the pain and accepting it make a big difference.  I’m very intrigued by the idea of giving birth like an animal: seeking out a dark and quiet place, relaxing into the sensation, and experiencing birth in relative privacy.  I always laughed with pleasure when Mammy told Scarlett O’Hara that it was shameful the way she gave birth with no more fuss than an alley cat, or something similar.  I’m looking forward to my birthing time without fear.

In regards to fitness, I will depend on the P90X program and daily running to get me into great shape after birth.  I can’t wait until I’m back to my old self and can take the physical fitness test to get into the police academy and pass it with flying colors.  I hate that there are different fitness standards for men and women when we’re going to be doing the same job, so I will aim to meet the men’s standards.

As a pregnant woman, I feel like Krang, wondering when Shredder is going to finish my body!

Post a comment

Name: (required)

Email Address: (will not be published) (required)

URL:

Comments: